Holiday Custody Schedules: Keep the Season Bright for Your Kids

If you’re one of many Oklahoma parents who have recently filed for divorce, you and your children may be adapting to a new lifestyle, especially while navigating the first school year since you and your spouse parted ways. You have a lot to juggle, and the approach of this season’s holidays adds one more factor to consider.

You might think it’s too early to start thinking about the holidays. However, as a parent amid divorce, it’s never too early to make sure you have holiday-proofed your child custody agreement. Consulting with our Oklahoma City child custody lawyer can help ensure that your custody plan is clear and effective for the holidays.

Why Holiday Planning Matters in 50/50 Custody

Even the most amicable co-parenting relationships face challenges during holidays. The emotional weight of these occasions, combined with family expectations and travel logistics, creates potential for disagreement.

A clear holiday schedule removes ambiguity from your custody arrangement. Instead of negotiating each year, you'll have a framework that respects both parents' time while giving your children the gift of predictability. This matters because kids thrive on routine, even during special occasions. Parents with shared custody arrangements often encounter similar obstacles year after year.

• Conflicting family traditions create tension when both sides want the child present for their specific celebrations. Your ex-partner's family might have Christmas Eve traditions while yours centers on Christmas morning, leaving little room for compromise without a written plan.
• Travel complications multiply during peak holiday seasons. Flights get expensive, roads become congested, and the weather can delay plans. Without advance coordination, transportation logistics can derail the entire holiday.
• Extended family expectations add pressure from all sides. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all want their time with your child, making it difficult to balance everyone's wishes fairly.

Define Which Holidays Get Special Treatment

Not all holidays carry equal weight for every family. Your custody agreement should clearly list which days receive special scheduling consideration.

Oklahoma courts typically recognize major holidays, including New Year's Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Many families also include children's birthdays, parents' birthdays, and culturally significant celebrations.

Important note: Schools and daycare facilities often have extended breaks around holidays. Your plan should address the entire break period, not just the holiday itself.

Establish Clear Exchange Times and Locations

Vague language like "evening" or "afternoon" leads to arguments. Your agreement needs precise exchange times down to the hour.

For example: "Holiday custody begins at 9:00 a.m. on the holiday and ends at 6:00 p.m. the following day" removes any room for interpretation. Specify whether exchanges happen at a parent's home, a neutral location, or if one parent handles pickup and the other manages drop-off.

Make Sure You and Your Ex Agree on What Constitutes a Holiday

You might like to celebrate National Daughters' or National Sons' Day, while your ex doesn’t consider it an official holiday. The fact is, you can designate any date as a holiday in your family, provided you both agree on how your children will celebrate the tradition. It’s best to create a calendar with all the holidays listed, as well as which parent will have custody on which days.

In some child custody agreements, parents agree to celebrate certain holidays together so that their children can enjoy having both parents with them on special occasions. If you and your ex get along well, this idea might work for your family. If not, that’s fine. If you agree to certain terms and put them in writing, the choice of how to spend holidays following your divorce is up to you.

Make Sure Your Child Custody Agreement Includes Terms About Travel

The terms of your legal custody agreement may affect your ability to travel freely with your children. If you share legal custody with your ex, you must consult them before leaving the state or country with your kids. If you have sole legal custody, you do not need to seek your ex’s approval, unless the court has issued specific orders that state otherwise.

As for shared legal custody, it’s still helpful to discuss and agree to specific terms about holiday travel. Perhaps you will travel with your kids for Thanksgiving, and your ex will take them on a trip over Christmas break, Kwanzaa, or any other special occasions your family celebrates. Again, the most important factor is to put all terms of the agreement in writing.

Create a Rotation System That Works Long-Term

Alternating holidays year by year gives both parents meaningful time without requiring complex calculations. In even-numbered years, Parent A might have Thanksgiving while Parent B gets Christmas. They switch in odd-numbered years.

Some families prefer splitting longer holidays. Christmas could mean Parent A has Christmas Eve while Parent B gets Christmas Day. This approach works well when parents live close together and children can reasonably travel between homes.

Holiday Schedule Template Examples

Here are some practical examples that show how other families structure their holiday custody arrangements successfully.

Winter Holiday Schedule

Thanksgiving Week:

• Even years: Mother has Wednesday before Thanksgiving at 3:00 p.m. through Sunday at 6:00 p.m.
• Odd years: Father has Wednesday before Thanksgiving at 3:00 p.m. through Sunday at 6:00 p.m.

Christmas/Winter Break:

• First half: December 20 at 3:00 p.m. through December 26 at 10:00 a.m. (alternates annually).
• Second half: December 26 at 10:00 a.m. through January 2 at 6:00 p.m. (alternates annually with opposite parent from first half).

New Year's Eve/Day:

• The parent who has the second half of winter break keeps children through January 1 at 3:00 p.m.

Spring and Summer Holiday Schedule

Spring Break:

• The week is divided in half or alternates annually, depending on the distance between homes.
• The parent with the first half gets Friday before break at 6:00 p.m. through Tuesday at 6:00 p.m.
• The parent with the second half gets Tuesday at 6:00 p.m. through Sunday at 6:00 p.m.

Memorial Day Weekend:

• Even years: The father has the child from Friday at 6:00 p.m. through Monday at 6:00 p.m.
• Odd years: The mother has the child from Friday at 6:00 p.m. through Monday at 6:00 p.m.

Independence Day:

• The schedule rotates annually.
• The parent with custody over the holiday has July 3 at 6:00 p.m. through July 5 at 6:00 p.m.

Labor Day Weekend:

• Opposite of Memorial Day schedule

Note: If you need help with standard summer visitation in Oklahoma, detailed guidelines can be developed beyond holiday-specific planning.

Special Occasion Schedule

Mother's Day:

• The mother has the children from Saturday at 10:00 a.m. through Sunday at 6:00 p.m. every year, regardless of the regular schedule.

Father's Day:

• The father has the children from Saturday at 10:00 a.m. through Sunday at 6:00 p.m. every year, regardless of the regular schedule.

Children's Birthdays:

• The child spends their birthday (6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.) with the parent whose regular custody day it falls on.
• The non-custodial parent gets a two-hour visit at a mutually agreed time that week.
• Birthday parties on weekends follow the regular custody schedule unless the parents agree otherwise.

Parents' Birthdays:

• Each parent is entitled to a three-hour visit with the children on their birthday if it falls during the other parent's time, with 2 weeks' advance notice.

Adjusting Your Plan as Children Grow

What works for a 4-year-old won't suit a 14-year-old. Your custody schedule should evolve with your children's changing needs and social lives.

Age-Appropriate Considerations

Younger children need predictability and shorter transitions. A preschooler might struggle with week-long stretches away from either parent, making split holidays more practical than alternating arrangements.

School-age children develop their own holiday traditions and friend groups. Your plan should account for school events, recitals, and sporting tournaments that might conflict with custody schedules.

Teenagers often want input about their holiday plans. While parents maintain final decision authority, building in age-appropriate flexibility helps older kids feel heard and reduces resistance to transitions.

When to Modify Your Agreement

Life changes justify custody modifications beyond normal childhood development. Significant shifts requiring updated holiday schedules include:

• Relocation: If one parent moves farther away, alternating holidays might make more sense than previous split arrangements. Changes to Oklahoma custody laws may also affect modification processes.
• Remarriage and blended families: New stepparents and stepsiblings create additional scheduling considerations, particularly around holidays that now involve more people.
• Changing financial circumstances: If one parent's income significantly changes, travel costs for holiday custody exchanges might require adjustment.

Protect Your Family's Holiday Time

Nothing can spoil a holiday more for kids than exposure to parental conflict over child custody issues. If trouble arises, try your best to keep the issue private between you and your ex, rather than letting the kids hear you argue about them.

Lily Debrah Cruickshank & Associates brings 20 years of experience helping Oklahoma families create workable custody arrangements that protect children's well-being and parents' rights. If you can’t resolve the issue peacefully, you can reach out for added support by bringing the matter to the court’s attention, especially if it concerns terms of agreement your ex has disregarded.

Divorce may change your children’s holidays, but it doesn’t have to ruin them. If you need legal assistance in resolving child custody disputes, contact our family law firm today for a consultation.